Sunday, July 26, 2009


I'm not sure if my responses to people's comments automatically notifies the person who commented, so I thought I'd write another post just to thank everyone for their advice and encouragement. It's such a help just to know that my friends and family care, and that I'm not the only mom who has been or is struggling with this issue.

I appreciate everyone's comments....and, yes, Carrie McCoy, I will talk to you again :) In response to your comment, I definitely have thought more about letting her cry....I just don't think I can let her go an hour and a half. She gets so worked up and hyperventilates when she cries that long in the car (and she does cry that long in the car when she's tired, so it makes me think she'll do it at home too). We're taking baby steps towards her learning to soothe herself. I know I've taught her to depend on me, and that needs to be undone eventually, but I don't want her little nervous system to get completely stressed out.....arrgh....what to do.... I do appreciate that you care enough to share your honest opinion. I have to say that my friends who work (whether it's part time or full time) seem to have babies that sleep better because their babies have had to learn to sleep in different environments and with different people putting them down for naps or to bed....and Maggie has only had Daniel and I, so we haven't had a whole lot of extra incentive (other than our own frustration) to get the sleep thing figured out, since we are the only ones who have to put up with it. I honestly don't know what to think of the cry-it-out method, but I do know sooooo many moms (online) who have said it is what finally worked for them, and I will give it some thought! Thanks for caring!! I truly appreciate it!

It is such a blessing to be able to share frustrations with friends, and feel supported, especially since I don't always have people around me here who have been through this yet.

I will keep you all updated on how things go....and what finally works for us (if we end up finding anything).

Thanks again everyone and God Bless.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Lord have mercy

Too bad I tend to blog when I'm frustrated or fed up with something---please forgive me for this. I just sometimes need to vent without anyone interrupting me and telling me I'm worrying too much about whatever it is I'm worried about.

Maggie's sleep patterns continue to puzzle me. The last couple weeks, I've stayed home all day, dedicated to giving her the best naps possible (no matter what it took). I found that laying down with her in our bed when she was tired worked well. The only issue being, she would nurse the ENTIRE nap, and would start to wake up if I took her off. I decided it was worth it, if she could get more than 40 minutes of sleep during a nap (which is her typical nap length these days). This was working well, some days she slept over 2 hours for a nap, and that made me VERY happy. Needless to say, her better daytime naps led to much better sleep at night! A win-win, right? Well, I'll always find something to gripe about. Today I got sooooo frustrated when I layed down twice with Maggie, and both times she only slept 35 minutes! If nursing her the whole nap isn't going to work, then what will? (other than "training" her to sleep on her own-which I am not gutsy enought to do yet). Not to mention how much of my day I spend trying to figure out her napping needs. Laying down with her 3-4 hours a day (as the books say this is how much she needs to nap), means that is 3-4 hours I am NOT doing anything around the house. It gets overwhelming to have NO time during the day when Maggie isn't needing me in some way, shape or form. I know she's more clingy because she isn't napping enough, but it's so frustrating sometimes.

Another issue is I am sooooo worried that she is chronically overtired, and that this might have some adverse effects on her later in life, like ADHD, sleep disorders, etc. Daniel says i'm ridiculous for worrying about these things, but I think there is some validity to them. SOMETHING has to be done to get her into a better napping habit---one where she can soothe herself back to sleep when she wakes up halfway through a nap. To be honest, I'm afraid to try anything for fear that then she won't get ANY naps, and it will only make things worse. I know I just have to try, and give new things time to sink in for both of us. Nothing changes overnight....especially habits that have been forming for 6 months now. It's not that I am against nursing her to sleep, or carrying her in the Ergo for her naps, it's just that she isn't sleeping long enough when I do these things, and that is what concerns me. Plus, I need to learn how to put her down for a nap on her own eventually, because there will be no leisurely 2 hour naps I can take with the next baby (whenever that may be).

Ugghh. I bought Elizabeth Pantley's "No-Cry Nap Solution" today, and I'm reading through it for ideas. I like her approach to sleep issues, but I don't know if I have the perseverance to really break these habits both Maggie and i have formed. I am at the point where I will do ANYTHING to give her consistent, long naps. I dont care if I never have "free time" to myself (well I do care, but I haven't had it yet with her) while she naps, as long as I can help her learn to sleep longer. I just want her to grow and develop healthily, and if I am the one hindering her from getting good sleep, I want to change.

There should be several classes on this for parents-to-be. I had noooooo idea what was involved with napping. I just assumed babies slept when they were tired, and that if they missed a nap, they'd just sleep all the better that night. This is definitely not the case, and there is sooo much to know about infant sleep patterns and needs. Of course, I wouldn't need to know any of it if Maggie naturally slept well, but she doesn't, so I need help.

I don't want to just "grin and bear it" for now, because I want her to get the rest she needs, and it doesn't seem like 3- 45 minute naps a day are doing it.

How did Caroline Ingalls do it in the old days? What did she do with her babies while she did chores from sunrise to sunset? Plus, she NEVER got to go to town for "alone time", and was always gracious about letting Pa go meet up with the other men in town for checkers of just to socialize. I wish I could be more like her. I wish I didn't have any other idea of motherhood and being a wife than what the women in old times new, because then I wouldn't constantly feel like my life is somehow lacking because I don't get to have as much of a social life or the pleasant "freedoms" that I see other moms who don't stay home with their kids having. I LOVE being with Maggie all day, it just gets overwhelming at times, and I get sooo selfish.

I need perspective ........Maggie needs more naps........the house needs cleaning......the husband needs loving........Lord, have mercy!

Friday, July 3, 2009

New "Summer Do" (for my sister Katie to see :)

Here Katie--since you don't have facebook, and you wanted to see my new "summer do" :) Enjoy...Maggie is pretty adorable, isn't she?